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10 Tips for Practicing Positive Thinking as a Tool for Managing ADD
At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent...
Lynda's triumph Over Epilepsy
Please feel free to use this article in your Newsletter or on your web site. If you use this article, please send a brief message to let me know where it appeared: mail to: janes-store@telus.net Thank you. This article may be reprinted in...
Planning Stress Management
Deadlines at work, demanding bosses, bills to be paid at home, kids demanding for time and attention, changes in the environment, etc. AAARRRRGH. These are the realities of everyday living that people in an industrialized world have to constantly...
The Disciplines of Success
Success, in the dictionary, is defined as, “The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted.” So why is success in our society defined by the balance in your bank account, the car you drive, or how big your house is? You are...
Why Daily Planning is So Important for Adults with ADD
For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a drag. We tend to see the big picture and want to jump straight to the finish line, wishing we could skip all the steps in between. Unfortunately, this perspective often causes us to...
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Exploring the "Should's": Is it Necessity, Desire, or Guilt?
How many times a day do you find yourself using the word "should"? ADDers are full of "should's": I should do the dishes, I should clean out the fridge, I should see that movie, I should call my friend, etc. The word "should" can be very dangerous to an adult with ADD, because it often results in guilt.
In order to break through this and help you prioritize the things that you "should" do, try exploring your "should's" by asking yourself the following question:
Is this a necessity, a desire, or guilt? Here are some examples:
I should do my taxes.
Necessity: If you don't do your taxes, you can find your finances slipping out of control. You can end up owing the government penalty fees. And you will absolutely have undue stress. This "should" is a necessity.
I should buy that CD.
Desire: This is something that you want to make you happy. You like the music you hear, and therefore you want to own it. This "should" is a desire.
I should clean my house more often.
Guilt: If the "should" comes when you compare yourself to others, then guilt is probably involved. It often happens when we feel like we are not living up to the performance or expectations
of others (or our perceived performance/expectations of others.) If you visit a friend's house and its neat and clean, you may falsely interpret this to mean that your friend cleans all the time. In reality, your friend may have spent hours cleaning her/his house before you arrived to make it look nice! If you are physically and mentally comfortable with the amount of time you spend cleaning your house, then cleaning more often is not a necessity, it's not a desire, its a "should" that is just useless guilt!
Try this exercise for a whole day. Every time you find yourself using the word "should," ask yourself if its a necessity, desire, or guilt. I promise that you'll feel a lot a better about all the things you think you "should" be doing!
About the Author
Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who helps adults manage their ADD and move forward in life. She offers a 90-day intensive skill-building program, workshops, and private coaching. Her work has been featured in numerous media, including The New York Times Magazine. To subscribe to Jennifer’s free email newsletter, The ADD Management Guide, please visit http://www.addmanagement.com/e-newsletter.htm.
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